Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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