lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
