After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
