i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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