I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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