matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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