fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
