...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
