Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
