She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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