i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
