The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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