They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
