I will die if light touches me.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
