oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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