That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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