Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
