life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
