ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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