If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
