I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
