My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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