I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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