I'm really into asian looking animals
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
