Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
