I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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