I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
