I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
this boner is exhausting
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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