We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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