all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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