my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
