Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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