I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
where are you?
Hypothermia
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
