She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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