she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
