I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
