marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize
