Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
