so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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