he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
