You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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