If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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