Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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