You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
My friends, they love my intelligence
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
