I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Randomize
