loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
