I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
