she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
my liver is dry heaving
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Randomize
