remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
You're earring is so big in my mouth
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
