i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just gift wrapped bread.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
